Winning Ex Back

If you've ever broken up with someone (or someone has broken up with you) and all you can think about is winning your ex back, then I have some good news for you. Not only is this possible, but there are some specific things that you can do to speed up the process and get back into the loving arms of your ex in record time. 

And just for the record these methods do not involve blackmail, threatening behaviors or kidnapping your ex's favorite pet and promising to give it back only if they start seeing you again!

The first step in this process (and it is a process, not something that can be done in one night) is developing a "winning ex back" strategy. That means having an overall game plan together so that you know step by step what you have to do- and sometimes even more importantly, what not to do.

For example ladies, if you find yourself:

• calling him incessantly and leaving messages
• texting him non stop and asking what he's doing 
• stalking his facebook, myspace or twitter posts to check his status 
• trying to accidentally 'run into him' just to say hi and what's up
• bugging his friends or other family members to check on him

  And guys, if you find yourself:

• doing drive bys past her house to see whose car is there
• having your friends do drive bys past her house
• leaving messages like "call me- it's an emergency"
• cyberstalking (constantly checking on her profiles and updates)
• constantly worrying about who she's with and what she's doing

Then these are all perfect examples of exactly what not to do. And more importantly, these behaviors have to stop first before you can make any progress toward reconciling your relationship. Why do these behaviors have to stop? Good question. 

First of all, let's say that your boyfriend has recently broken up with you, and let's say the reason behind this break up is because he feels that you are too needy. What message do you think you are sending to him when you start texting, calling or cyber stalking him all the time? If you guessed "I'm needy" then you're absolutely right! As a matter of fact you are reinforcing the exact reason why he broke up with you in the first place. So all he's thinking is "Boy, I definitely made the right decision by getting rid of her" and you're chances of winning your ex back are getting smaller and smaller.

And guys, if she broke up with you because she felt like she was being smothered and just needed a little space, and now you're popping up all over the place when she's out and about, then you're not getting closer to winning your ex back- you're actually climbing higher on the creep-o-meter.

If you've already been texting, cyberstalking or leaving hundreds of messages- don't despair- this doesn't mean that you've ruined your chances of getting back together. It may just mean you have to spend some time doing damage control first- so don't give up hope (but seriously-stop texting, cyberstalking and leaving hundreds of messages).

So now that you know what not to do, what is it that you should be doing?  Another good question! First and foremost, you chill out. You grab the reigns of your emotions and slow down and get yourself under control. And you can ask your friends to help you with this. No more texting, no more drive bys, no more cyber stalking. You start to focus on you (not them) and begin doing things for yourself that are productive. This is the first step in your "winning ex back" strategy. 

In the next post, I'll let you in on a little secret that will absolutely magnify your power in getting your ex to pay attention to you- even if they don't want to!