Get Your Boyfriend Back

Do you ever feel that no matter what you do to try to get back together with your boyfriend, it just doesn't work? You sometimes think that you actually might be driving your boyfriend further away from you instead of bringing him back into your life? If you're wondering what steps you can take to get your boyfriend back, here are some tips that may help.

Chances are that if you're reading this article, you're serious about getting your boyfriend back and keeping him. However, you might be your own worst enemy! In other words, you might be behaving in a way that is actually driving your boyfriend away from you and not bringing you closer together. You're probably not even doing this intentionally, but unfortunately the result is the same. And if this behavioral pattern continues, you will continue to spin out of control and your boyfriend will continue to move further away from you.    

For example, are you calling your ex too much, texting him incessantly or even worse- cyber stalking him? Are you trying to appeal to his sense of sympathy and making him feel sorry for you? If you're asking yourself  "What can I do to get my boyfriend back?" and what you're doing now is not working, then you need to stop what you're doing completely.

So exactly what can you do to get your boyfriend back? Try this strategy instead.

If what you're doing now has not worked for you, then you need to step back and take a completely different approach. First, you need to break off contact for a while and focus on you. And when I say break off communication, I mean everything- no texting, calling or cyberstalking! Use this time to focus on you: pick a new hobby, talk to an old girlfriend, do something to get out of the house. I'm not saying that this is going to be easy- as a matter of fact, this is probably the hardest that there is in this strategy. But it is absolutely necessary if you're going to get your boyfriend back and keep him.

From your ex's point of view, he will begin to experience a shift from not being pursued anymore. Let's face it, if you've been calling your boyfriend every day ten times per day (or texting) and you suddenly stop, he's going to be wondering what happened and what you're doing. And this is exactly what you want him thinking about. As a matter of fact, this may actually be the first time that your ex misses you because you're not constantly calling him or texting. 

Now remember, the whole key to making this work is sticking to your guns and not caving in wen your ex calls or texts you. And the psychology that you're bringing into play is something that been used countless times in relationships- the fear of loss. We as human beings will fight longer and harder to keep something that we have than to get something in the first place. But if you're constantly calling or keeping in contact, you're not giving him the chance to miss or feel at all like he doesn't have you in hi life anymore.

Once you execute this strategy you can begin to restore the balance in the relationship and subtly remind your ex why he loved you in the first place.

Remember, keep yourself grounded and try not to smother him. Creating this space between you and your ex will give him a chance to miss you- you might even come across as mysterious. Give him an opportunity to make the first move and you will come out on top. And then you'll be able to stop asking "what can I do to get my boyfriend back" because at that point, he'll be back!    

Winning Ex Back

If you've ever broken up with someone (or someone has broken up with you) and all you can think about is winning your ex back, then I have some good news for you. Not only is this possible, but there are some specific things that you can do to speed up the process and get back into the loving arms of your ex in record time. 

And just for the record these methods do not involve blackmail, threatening behaviors or kidnapping your ex's favorite pet and promising to give it back only if they start seeing you again!

The first step in this process (and it is a process, not something that can be done in one night) is developing a "winning ex back" strategy. That means having an overall game plan together so that you know step by step what you have to do- and sometimes even more importantly, what not to do.

For example ladies, if you find yourself:

• calling him incessantly and leaving messages
• texting him non stop and asking what he's doing 
• stalking his facebook, myspace or twitter posts to check his status 
• trying to accidentally 'run into him' just to say hi and what's up
• bugging his friends or other family members to check on him

  And guys, if you find yourself:

• doing drive bys past her house to see whose car is there
• having your friends do drive bys past her house
• leaving messages like "call me- it's an emergency"
• cyberstalking (constantly checking on her profiles and updates)
• constantly worrying about who she's with and what she's doing

Then these are all perfect examples of exactly what not to do. And more importantly, these behaviors have to stop first before you can make any progress toward reconciling your relationship. Why do these behaviors have to stop? Good question. 

First of all, let's say that your boyfriend has recently broken up with you, and let's say the reason behind this break up is because he feels that you are too needy. What message do you think you are sending to him when you start texting, calling or cyber stalking him all the time? If you guessed "I'm needy" then you're absolutely right! As a matter of fact you are reinforcing the exact reason why he broke up with you in the first place. So all he's thinking is "Boy, I definitely made the right decision by getting rid of her" and you're chances of winning your ex back are getting smaller and smaller.

And guys, if she broke up with you because she felt like she was being smothered and just needed a little space, and now you're popping up all over the place when she's out and about, then you're not getting closer to winning your ex back- you're actually climbing higher on the creep-o-meter.

If you've already been texting, cyberstalking or leaving hundreds of messages- don't despair- this doesn't mean that you've ruined your chances of getting back together. It may just mean you have to spend some time doing damage control first- so don't give up hope (but seriously-stop texting, cyberstalking and leaving hundreds of messages).

So now that you know what not to do, what is it that you should be doing?  Another good question! First and foremost, you chill out. You grab the reigns of your emotions and slow down and get yourself under control. And you can ask your friends to help you with this. No more texting, no more drive bys, no more cyber stalking. You start to focus on you (not them) and begin doing things for yourself that are productive. This is the first step in your "winning ex back" strategy. 

In the next post, I'll let you in on a little secret that will absolutely magnify your power in getting your ex to pay attention to you- even if they don't want to!